Thursday, July 27, 2006

Adventures in Lawncare

I had an eventful day mowing the lawn. There was danger, intrigue, and a little bit of 'ahh, baby bunnies'.

Before reading this, I have to tell you. I am not drunk. I have just had a very long day with the kids and am only half here mentally.

The Danger: Next to our garden, which has become a 5x5 foot rainforest of tomato plants, there are *two* wasps nest. My wife has been on me for a few weeks to spray them. Why me? Because as a male, I am foolish and disposable. I have great respect for wasps. One time while riding a dirt bike faster then I should have, a wasp flew up my sleeve and into my shirt. I had to endure him biting me again and again until I slowed down enough to safely smash him.

The Intrigue: While mowing the lawn, I was visited by a neighbor. A neighbor who broke the covenants by parking his old camper permanently next to his house. My neighbor starts talking to me for the first time since he moved in two years ago. I know immediately that something is up. We small talk for five mins about camping. This is the only thing I know about him, and only because I know he has a camper. Predictably the other shoe drops. He wants me to put rock edging around the outside of my fence so that he doesn't have to trim it. I didn't tell him, that technically I should probably be the one trimming it since it is my fence. But then you don't tell the IRS that they missed several flaws on your tax return. It is rude. I took the polite route and told him that I would be happy to put rock trim to save him such trouble if he would be willing to pay for it. He decided that trimming is not so bad.

Ahh Baby Bunnies: Also next to our garden, well within 10 feet, I discovered a nest of adolescent bunnies. I know I should be "getting rid" of these. Especially with the garden next door. But I can't bring myself to do it. I won't even mow or trim in that area right now, lest I disturb them. My backyard, i.e. my sanctuary, is not a place where something as cute as a bunny meets with an unhappy fate. Therefore my backyard is now a bunny refuge. Tomorrow I will have to bring the girls out to see them.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Why Men Like Fireworks #2 (for Black Belt Moma)

In a previous post entitled "Why Men Like Fireworks" (which had nothing to do with men liking fireworks) I said that if my wife did not catch on, I would tell you the illicit dark side of being a stay at home dad.

To all our disappointment, she caught on :(

If I did tell you about the dark side, you would all be astonished. You would never let your husbands near the other moms, victoria secret stores, the fitness channel or goats. I wish I could elaborate, but I can't. Sorry.

Okay, I will tell you one illicit detail. In the back of every Victoria Secret store is a *secret* room filled with video monitors. Stay at home dad's are allowed into these *secret* rooms to watch the monitors. On each monitor is a different football game. The people who work at the store bring us popcorn and rub our scalps. That is why we gaze at Victoria Secret stores so longingly.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

M at the Air Show

M and I went to an Air Show today. It was hot and sunny. My wife says it was only 91 degrees, but I know it was hotter then that.

M. did very well with the heat, as long as she had cold treats. She drank two bottles of water, one ice cream sundae, and a small bowl of flavored ice.

Now that I think about it, she didn't eat *all* the flavored ice. While we were watching the Blue Angels, she shoveled dirt into her ice bowl and stirred it with her plastic spoon. She said she was making ice soup for the ants

M. upside down in one of the rides they had for the kids.

M. sitting in a cockpit. The pilot was in the other seat and showed M. how to steer the plane. When he asked her if she wanted to be a pilot, she said "No, I want to be a storm chaser". She got a big kick out of being in the airplane.

Blue Angels. Posted by Picasa